February 21, 2016 by Payton Shiver
There are a multitude of reasons why a girl will not text a guy back, and I promise a lot of the reasons are gender-neutral. Believe it or not: guys have feelings (strong feelings), too. I’ve recently been bombarded with unwelcome texts and I figured this would be a fun post to send to those pesky wannabe suitors who can’t take a hint.
Disclaimer: The target audience for this post is single people. If you’re in a relationship, there are exceptions (and significant, sometimes inexplicable reasons) why your bae didn’t text you back…That post would take decades to write.
1. I Don’t Want to Talk to You
It’s literally that simple. I don’t need to belabor the point: I. Don’t. Want. To. Talk. To. You.
2. I’m Busy and You’re Annoying
Don’t call me 46 times, leave twelve voicemails, and expect me to be all giddy about it. If we’re dating, okay cool. Maybe she’s into that. I, however, do not want to check my phone after an intense morning of work to see that you’ve lost your damn mind. [This obviously excludes medical emergencies and telling me you got tickets to see Adele.]
3. You’re Kind of a B*tch
If you text me, “hey loser,” or “sup jerk,” I repeat: you’ve lost your damn mind. This isn’t high school. We are young adults and if you’re into that, you need to check your priorities. This goes for guys, too: verbal abuse is a gateway into sexual and physical abuse, and if you don’t nip that sh*t in the bud, you’re in for a messy relationship.
FIRSTHAND PRO TIP: Get rid of that sorry piece before it’s too late. (Both ladies and gents alike.)
4. I’M NOT INTERESTED, BRO
Again, this could go either way – guys or girls. Refer to #1 and/or #5 if you can’t figure out why s/he is not interested. And if the “read” receipts are turned on, there’s literally no reason for you to still be blowing up my messages.
5. Two No’s and a Go
This is a marketing strategy employed by millions of businessmen and women across the globe. When you’re attempting to sell something to a potential client, you never end the conversation on the first “no.” You reevaluate, and continue the conversation on a different note. If the potential client says “no” a second time, you take a step back and let them carry on their merry way. Hey, it’s their loss – right? And if you can’t see that you’re a catch and anyone would be lucky to have you, then I repeat: it’s time to reevaluate your priorities.
6. I’m Asleep
Swear to my Good Sweet Lord and Savior Baby Jesus up in Heaven that I will lose it if you text me more than seventeen times between the hours of 10:00pm and 8:00am. Yes, we’re young adults and we like to party and stay out late and Netflix until 3:00am, but some of us (a lot of us) like to get our full seven-to-ten hours of sleep every night. I am not a morning person as it is, and if I wake up to this nonsense and you’re not telling me you got tickets to see Adele, there’s a 110% I will be ripping you a new one. [This obviously excludes medical emergencies.]
7. If I’m Not Texting You Back, Leave Me Alone on ALL Social Media Platforms
If I haven’t responded to your last four texts, why would you imagine that I would respond to your Snapchat? If I haven’t answered a phone call from you, why would you think it would be okay to message me on Twitter or Facebook? Seriously – I want to know the reasoning behind this. If I blocked someone on Facebook or Twitter, it’s because 1) They’re an ex, or 2) I think they’re bat crap crazy and we are no longer friends. But if I have to block your number or your Snapchat, that means you have made me seriously, seriously, super duper uncomfortable…Please, please, please, please don’t ever be that guy or girl.
Let it go, cut your losses, and move on.
If you’re being ignored, hopefully this list helps you figure out why. Maybe you overstepped, or you escalated from “hey” to “cuddle” in one text. Don’t do that. If you’re the guy or girl on the receiving end of these texts and they’re not getting the message after a couple of weeks, it might be time to send a simple, “please stop texting me,” or “no,” or my favorite: send the classic Michael Scott gif of him screaming at Toby for returning to work. If they still won’t get the picture, it might be time to block their number and block them from all social media platforms. If that person still won’t leave you alone, I suggest visiting your local police station and take more drastic precautions. I hate to end on such a dreary note, but people are flipping crazy and there’s not a single reason in the entire world why someone should be stealing your happiness from you.
P.S. – stop texting me.